Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in Cardiff with Mr. Chris Corcoran.

... Can't stop now ... don't you know? I'll never let you go, don't go ... Can't stop now ... don't you know, I'll never let you go ... / Don't go / Y__, Don't Go. ... This is Rhod Gilbert live on BBC Radio Wales. / I'll tell you what . That Y__ / really / I'm not sure __ she should be shouting like that. / What do you mean? / way / saying / want / make / if I didn't want you go, I'd go, "Uh, mate, listen, please ... please don't go. / I / I think that's ... / I think that's the point. I think she feels more strongly about that person going than you feel about me going out of the room / hey, mate, uh ... don't go / probably don't bother / into a song, would you? / enough sentiment / I'm not sure / she means, uh ... / hang on a minute / something / I was thinking we were in a relationship sort of thing, hypothetically in / stay / ladies and gentlemen, finally / seven years on the radio / he __ finally admitted it / __ __ I / really needed you to stay / importantly / like I / stay for an important meeting. I don't think that's what she's saying / passionate plea / I don't think she's going, "Hey, don't go / on the agenda / any other / any other business / it's / primal scream of a desparate woman / don't get me wrong / should / please don't ... please don't go. / But that is what she say__ / I'm not sure if that makes you wanna stay. That makes the bloke __ __ go, or a women, or whoever / let's imagine you were going somewhere / plan to leave / somebody / want you to stay / one / don't go / who was that one? / or this one ... / who was that first one? / that was Y__ / like / Y__ / like / Y__ / It was. / middle / yeah / I know, but / shout it twice. / All right / people can get the idea / OK. / or, would you rather they said / Please don't go, please don't go / See? / or would you rather they said this, "Stay with ... / ... with ... me ... / Yeah. / Ooh. / that / Shakespeares Sister / Yeah. Right. Well, then ... / let's get them all on / can we get those two ... I know ... / __ __ __ __ off the play list. / プレイリストから ... を抜け。 / Can we get / who __ that / something like ... KWS. That's the / OK. Can we / please? / and "Please Don't Go" and "Stay / I'm not sure which one I'd prefer. / What we'll do is / people at home / imagine / about to leave and see which one of these / great / most persuasive ... / Great. / ... in keeping you in the room.

Now then, it is ... what's the date? I've been / very good, Korkey, since / seen you for a while, and / show / I've been very good / sort of, throwing / still / tricky skill. / It is a tricky skill. / You know. You can't do it straight away / me seven years to really master / Saturday, May the 11th / which is / it is today / how to do it, though / you don't / ironically / you just / ironically / yeah / did you do / explaining it to me / huh. __ __ __ ironic. I just, uh ... I normally would go, "Good moening, everybody. It's Saturday / read __ __ top off the newspaper. / Huh. That's good. / It is qiute good / do / in the first / in the first __ / or maybe __ the second __ or something, yeah / rifle through the papers / to see if anything ... anything more positive than all the grim stuff that is going on. / look / now, grim ... grim ... grim ... this is the best thing I've found so far. ... The most positive I've found is / feature about / world's best frying pan / Wow. / Yeah / that ... that / because I need a frying pan / I don't / need one this good. / Why? / I / just / best frying pan / inspire me to do __ better frying pan recipes. / no / you / basic ... basic, sort of, a, flat__ / what / I / used to / point in time. / You need a basic ... yeah, but there's no point / show you. / ... Well, I really wanna see it now. / Sorry. / Well, I'm gonna find it in a minute / why do you think / try it / why would you need __ world's best frying pan? / Well, why not? / What do you do / frying pan? / Huh? / Sausages? / ... No. ... Bacon and eggs. / Right. / omelette / do you need / frying pan / I don't just do / you are asking for a list, presumably. / Well, uh ... yeah, OK. / OK. ... Bacon ... and eggs / good feature, ladies and gentlemen. What Korkey / frying pan / I'll jot this down / if there's something wrong with you. ... If there's something wrong with you. ... If something's wrong with you / so bored / I'm ... I'm doing it / how far / Korkey's frying pan ... list. / Yeah. ... Recipes. / 1. ... / Recipes. Why don't we / bacon egg's / it's not. / Yes, it is. / standard dish / it isn't / Why? It's got ... it's got components / be called "Korkey's frying pan recipe list. / Yeah. / Unfortunately, it's not. It's called Korkey's frying pan list / 1. Bacon and eggs / yeah / frying pan / list / Korkey's frying pan ... oh god ... / recipes / No. / all right / just list of things you cook / food in a frying pan / bacon and eggs / Yeah. ... Bacon and eggs, ... / omelettes / uh / pancakes. / Huh. / yeah / yeah / I'm jotting it all down. ... Jot it down at home, ladies and gentlemen / uh ... sausages. ... / remember / surely / comes under bacon and eggs / well / different things / job / B&B / you could have said / you / what would you order / bacon and eggs? Right, we we are / sausage / onions / Right. / excuse me, but that's not bacon and eggs. / Whatever. Surely / sausages and onions / while / very merry time / might be / no, __ haven't, because, while / merry time over there, __ripping __ __ me ... / instead / crossed / fried breakfast / I knew / come up / All right. Fine. / go on / and sausage / you're back to 3. ... / breakfast / 3. ... / Pancakes. / Pancakes. That's it. / Yeah. / Right. ... Now, let me put ... / yeah / now / let me put / into / poached eggs in __ frying pan? I would ... / fried eggs / Yeah. / if you use water / ... What? / use water / What? / water in a frying pan / argument / you are quite right / I / put them in a pan / yeah, OK. / not frying pan. ... I think that might be it / right / just to recap, ladies and gentlemen. ... Korkey's frying pan / stuff / 1. Fried breakfast, 2. omelette__ / 3. / let me feed that in ... let me ... let me ... I've got a computer here which / me / oh / feed / all your information / it'll tell you what / frying pan / you need / I've got / hang on a minute. ... Oh yeah / do the sound effect / I'll do the sound effect. Come here / come here / I've got / I / feed into my computer system / is that a special computer, Rhod? / the right page up / What's your name? / Uh ... Chris Corcoran ... uh ... (Korkey) for / show __ you / Address? / uh ... etc. / 146 / H__ __, __ __ ... / H__ __, __ __ ... / Uh ... __ __ / ... It's not coming up. / U ...? Come on, officer. Is there / it's not coming up / yeah / OK / are you __ to be contacted for marketing purposes in the future? / No. Can you tick the box __ "No" / Right. / question underneath / the other way round / can you not take that one? / things / for breakfast ... 2. Omelette, 3. pancakes ... Well, you're not gonna believe this. / What? / It says you need the world's best frying pan. ... You've come up as "Advanced".

Stay ... Stay ... __ ... / Shakespears Sister / Stay. ... Now then, was that more persuasive than Y__'s "Don't Go"? That is the social, uh ... experiment we're conducting today / Korkey / a p__ / Y__ / somebody to go, you shouldn't be shouting like that / don't go / was that more persuasive? / it was, at the beginning, but / became a bit w__ing / kind of whiny, wasn't it? / yeah / passionate / So, I'm not so sure now, mate. / No? / at least I / frying pan, though / you have got the world's best frying pan / just / I / cut out / keep __ picture / best / well, it says / "probably" the world's best frying pan / "possibly". / Oh, it's "possibly"? / not even "probably" / scratch it. I'm sorry, mate / I've wasted your time there. ... "__ __ __ __", it says. ... This is / little thing in the paper yesterday about, um ... about luxuries. / Yeah? / About luxuries / decent / Oh ... yes. / a massage / weekly takeaway / yeah / are among our / top / life's little luxuries / absolutely / soak in the bath / box / a quiet pint ... new lipstick ... / Yeah. / ... buying non-supermarket-owned brands also / make the list / basically ... / great / I thought, in this time of austerity, we should do a feature / I / love that / It's very Radio Wales. It's very local radio, and it will __ __ do / what are your little luxuries? This is as close as we've got __ proper feature in seven years of tedius radio. ... What are your little luxuries? ... I'll tell you what. Even as I am saying this / a bit too / local radio / well, let's see / even as I'm saying it. ... Hey, / do / a bit. Come on. Embrace it. Something is better than nothing, Rhod. / I know / sometimes it isn't / maybe it / nothing / you know / what are your little luxuries / come on / come to this / OK. But what does that mean / in principle, I agree / I'm in the back of your canoe / it's over / feature / I've / called / "What are your little luxuries?" / I've got ideas on it. I wanna do it. / I don't. I can't believe I've done this. I'm really sorry, everyone.

Please don't go, please don't go ... / Pleas Don't Go ... KWS. Uh ... that is / third one / I played, uh, Y__'s "Don't Go". And Korkey __ __ if you were urging somebody not to leave you, uh, don't shout / don't go / way / do / since then, played "Stay" by Shakespears Sister / which, uh, takes / slightly different approach, and, that one, / by KWS / in / here / Well, that was my least favorite / Your least favorite? / rather be holl__ed up by, uh, Y__ / more than that / a bit repetitive / right / a bit irritating / Right. / I think / probably / Stay / just, uh ... just / favorite / So, I'm ... I'm open to suggestion, really. I'm not sure. I think maybe not singing at all __ __ just, sort of, saying / just a nice letter? / a nice letter, or ... or just / little word / even popping a note / bedroom door / Yeah. / "Morning, Rhod and Korkey, (love the show) / referring to the three songs by Y__, KWS and Shakespeares Sister, I've noticed that __ the male song / KWS / just / is the only one that uses manners by saying "Please don't go" / whereas / women / are demanding / telling / don't go / and stay / in the ca(se) / I wouldn't ... I would argue with that / I don't think ... I don't think / demanding. I think / stay / sounds more "pleading" to me / pleading / demanding. I don't think, actually, she's wearing __ trousers __ at that point / No. We / but / a dress, I would argue / yeah / even a dressing gown / no, they / sort of / yeah. __ I imagine __ __ purple velvet, uh ... in a purple velvet dressing gown ... night robe. / Huh / Night robe, __ __ stay with me / I imagine / maybe we've got / all this wrong / maybe / they / run a B&B. / ... Yeah. / ... And they're just saying / marketing song / stay ... stay with us. Stay with me / 実は旅館の宣伝ソングかもしれない。 / lovely breakfast / That's a good point. / Huh. / maybe "Please don't go / KWS / urging somebody to / another night / don't go !" .... What's that, then? / ... I'll never let you go / don't go / somebody / a B&B / lock / bedroom / that's a bit scary / a bit of Misery. / Yeah. / says / the wom__n / demanding / so, what does that tell us? / using "Please don't go" / Woo, she's stirring / up / "I've got no idea / the mix / well ... I don't know, C__ / Wow. / ... On the subject of frying pans, uh ... / rigorous test this morning to see / in fact, need / best / as adverti__ed / whether / just / even a shop's own. ... "Dear Rhod and Korkey, / dishes / new frying pan / 1. F__ / 2. C__ / h__ / Oh, yeah. / 3. Bubble and / potato / Happy frying." says Neil from Newport. / Thanks, Neil / Bubble __ __, Boom ! / Uh ... "Dear Rhod and Korkey / non-stick / coating / frying pan / I don't know / do / know / non-stick coating / I'm not giving you / more / don't bother asking. ... That's the end of it / there's nothing better / oh, luxuries / oh, god, no, no, no / here we go / I've got loads of these / Grow up. You started it. / be a man / no / you know / J__ K__ / be a man / front up to your responsibility. You__ started the feature / No. / What do you mean, "No" ? / if / motivation for me in my life / life's little luxuries / Jeremy K__ / is it? / spread the love, mate / change / something / listen, mate. Before the news, I caught myself saying the words "Today's feature is "What are your life's little luxuries?" / then / pretty much fell apart / become / hold it together / become / local radio / hold / together / mate, it's much better to see it through. / It's not / let me keep / bird-watching / spotting a j__ ... life's little luxuries, mate / What? / sentence / bird? Not the letter / "J"って、鳥のことだな？字じゃなくて？ 新聞か何か見てて J を見つけたら「やったー。J だ」って喜ぶわけじゃないよな？ / no / in / looking at / J / no / all / some people / small pleasure / small preasure / you'd like that, wouldn't you? / I've just looked down / this feature / What? / read / person says / don't / arm's length / I know you are / do it / yeah, but it's your feature. / I don't wanna do it. / Why? / It's rubbish. / It's not rubbish / have / have it / rubbish / that attitude / gonna / because, obviously / co-presenter position here / your show / feature / all right / next 5 minutes, ladies and gentlemen ... next 40 minutes / be Korkey's / next 45 minutes ... / Yeah. / ... I'm supposed to run with this feature? / new guest / all right / fine. / guest / Korkey's little luxuries / this is a win-win for me. / どっちに転んでもボクにっとっては得だ。 / rubbish, I __ just blame you / All right. ... Today's latest feature, hosted by Korkey, is, / what are your life's little luxuries? / with everyone because it is just / too rubbish even for this show / have you got / worst / ever hosted on radio / this / probably the bottom of it. So, you are hosting this / anything to do with it / just a, kind of, / jolly, life-affirming ... Yeah, there you go. Great. / Huh / already / spring / my step / right into this / thing now / I've started it / so, today / life's little luxuries / suggestions / I've jotted / in from the listeners / I think / it just says / there's nothing better ..." This is / one / there's nothing better ..." This is / giving / myself / after / rolling my foot over a tennis ball. ... Life's little luxuries. ... / Huh. / sometimes, when I __ __ personal favorite / change / ten pound note / little / something interesting / charity shop / last time / can / shape of a giraffe. / that / little luxuries, on BBC Radio Wales ... hosted / this morning / Rhod Gilbert. ... Making cup cakes / my / own / listener / I'm really building a feature / making a cup cake / Sunday afternoon. We all / kick back / like / used to be / making a cup cake is a lovely thing to do. / coming up on / life's little luxuries is listening to your show / oh / no. stop it. / stop it / this is my feature / stop it / "Hi, Rhod and Korkey. My luxury items / my girlfriend's beauty products / in the bathroom", he says / conceal / pop / knickers / Why not? / ... Now, / if you're gonna do this / pop / little / window, Eh? Just, uh ... / curtains a little bit / give the neighbours something to talk about / do this / you / say nothing or just say something positive / this afternoon / BBC Radio Wales / sitting in for Rhod / not / on his own feature. ... "Singing along / music / for / me / breathing in sea air / lovely little / luxury / walk along / waft of / air / coming off the sea / yeah / and, uh ... / time for / after this track / still / you're finally admitting / time for __ track / defeat / do it forever. You / energy / hope you enjoyed / little luxuries. / Unbelievable.

Rhod and Korkey / this morning, "Don't Go" and "Stay" / going / which / always / live and let live. What __ you say, Korkey? / the same thing / "don't go" and "stay" / that is true. ... That is true / been / and "Please don't go" / why you / to be honest / I suggest you go / coming / you're staying / now then / feature / old / life's luxuries / as you / as you were doing / little / pathetic, uh, local radio feature, I, uh, found / something about / it says / one gadget / live without / like / one of his features / interview says / dish-washer / turn / really good / little / you could live without / life's little luxuries / go with / dishwasher, to be honest / china cup and saucer / so / nice cup of tea / would it? / in / I'm quite interested / because / not a gadget / no, it's not / I accept that. / feature is / thing / all I'm saying is / object / improve / life's little luxuries / would / China cup and saucer / noise / two points / here / firstly ... / man over there / point. ... Firstly, ... / Yeah? / ... that feature is finished. / Oh, all right. / Secondly, / one / cup / saucer / set / two things / a / set / cup or saucer? / no / not / not / set / you know it's a set / your face / No, I don't. ... There's only / one / one / thing / what's that? / hat. ... That's it. / 1. cup, 2. s__ / by the way / because / cup and s__ are a set / cup and saucer are two things / you / people / go bananas on it / of / radio / a cup and s__ a set? / several divorces. ... a cup and saucer are two objects / a set / you're denying / nice little jolly stuff / age of austerity / idea / really miserable / pointless, Rhod Gilbert. / Talking / spoil / g__ people, ... / Yeah? / spoil / story? / No. / spoil / ordered one thousand fans at a national schools f__ final / football final / national / one thousand / fans watching / to keep quiet. / No. / Yeah. ... "The announcement came 15 minutes into the game / complaints / dining in a function room / ground / kids watched the rest of / FA / in near silence. ... Mom of two S__ ... / travelled a hundred fifty miles / west / to see her son in action. She said / was all in good spirit / please refrain from making too much noise / down / corporate meeting / the stadium / Goodness me. / Well, well, well well well ... / and you think I'm a kill-joy? / 少年サッカーの全国大会で、スタジアムは大いに盛り上がっていた。息子の勇姿を見ようと何時間もかけて車で駆けつけた親御さんもいた。そこへ、スタジアムのレストランで会合をしていた企業の偉い人たちが、うるさすぎると文句を言ったところ、試合開始後 15 分に「皆様、まことに恐れ入りますが、あまり大きな声を出さないよう、お願い申し上げます」というアナウンスが入った。それから試合終了まで、実に静かな試合だったそうだ。... で、何？オレが水差し人間だって？

how / much / bathroom / seven / specifically / really? / bar / soap / all you've got / bathroom cabinet / shelving / is / kind of / requirements / totally wrong person / currently / Can you believe this? ... I / believe that / should / shelves / you are a totally wrong person to ask / aside / your car / most valuable / says / article / your television / perhaps / engagement ring / believe it or not, it might be / don't believe it / No. / apparently / bloke / be / pretty p__, I imagine / Yeah / we / guess / two grands / beauty / average / rubbish / sort of, uh, you know, / facial thingy / soaps / two grand__ worth on average in your bathroom cabinet / not since you told me / invention / sock-bundling robot / such / in my life / what / massive argument about / robot / invented / who said / robot / there / stupid story. That's my point. / that's / don't focus / more interested / sock-bundling robot / look, look / what do you mean / show / robot / bundle socks together / I'm not / get / into / I think / every / sock / no, it didn't work / decided. ... Now / the point is ... / how / how / bundle socks / Well, exactly that's my point / you / taking / position / great / end / bundle / socks / Did you? / remember / can't remember / very very very very bad memory / awful / is it age or what? / mine is dreadful / do you remember / robot / if there was one. / Well, there was one / you do remember it / yeah / you win / the point is / as futile as that / which one? / I've genuinely forgotten / over there / genuinely / wait, wait, don't look at it ... wait ... wait / genuinely / futile / what was it? / honestly / fogot / so have I. ... Hang on / about socks? / no / futile / robot / it was just / it was so rubbish, this story. / wasn't / No. / I don't know ... I can't remember / I / this instant / I can't remember. / Nor can I.

just on the subject of inventions / here's a good one / pyjamas / read your child / bedtime story / exactly / a high-tech pair of pyjamas / brilliant / bedtime / story / He's got six kids / Huh, there / go / invented / camera / or whatever / 47 different bedtime stories / huh / things by / G__ / proper stuff / futuristic sleep ware / reactions have been mixed / he / says / kids / school / bluh bluh bluh / created / stories / even need to ... / you don't even need / I think ... basically, ... kids, you know, / do / yeah / and then they / rub the computer all over them / Mother Goose or something / the beauty of these / same room / That's great, innit? / way forward for humanity, that / nothing / technology is doing nothing but good in the world / little / pockets / if I / if I / pair of trousers / if I had a son / a pair of trousers / could walk him to school / camera / like that / yeah / exactly / like robot trousers / school safely / yeah / of course / bedtime story / be safe / yeah / really suggesting / less human interaction / I think / perfect family / is one where / never meet ... after birth / find / way / birth / boom / well / boxes / family problems / solved / no / mess you up / by not speaking / in life / yeah. ... "Rhod and Korkey, / do you remember / most / over 60 / and you wear glasses, and you are a teacher / blue eyes, then / happiest person / secret of happiness ... having those things / Rhod / have / not in my sixties. Still, I am pretty happy / 9 A.M. / Here you go. / Here you go. / revising / taking / morning off to listen to you / but you're regretting that now / I've / for my 14th birthday / strange / odd / must admit / probably / out of any birthday presents that I've ever received / this, uh ... this, uh ... frying pan? / must / past / use / child / you've ever had is a frying pan

if / Rhod Gilbert / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

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